This past weekend Jeremy and I were invited, last minute, to a Halloween party. Okay. I lie – we were invited a long time ago via Facebook but somehow I’ve become completely illiterate in the ways of Facebook – so I missed the event invitation. Either way, it was the night of the party and Jeremy and I didn’t have costumes.
I’ve never needed an excuse to dress up. In elementary school I’d wear a thrifted zip-up jet fighter pilot uniform with combat boots … on a Tuesday. As I got older I would find my outfits inspired by sailors, school girls, and Kurt Cobain. When I was in the 9th grade my next door neighbor was selling all of her old polyester pant suits from the 70s in a garage sale – I took all of them off her hands for a quarter each and continued to wear them for the duration of the school year. These days my outfits have to be able to make me confident enough to survive the post-apocalypse.
The way I see it, every day is an opportunity to make a statement with what I’m wearing. So when it comes to Halloween, and dressing up, it feels like it’s got to be something really special. And that sentiment either makes me feel lazy and unenthusiastic or it drives me to go all out. This year my already-all-out hair did the hard work for me. All I had to do was pull my favorite article of clothing – a furry vest – from my closet and bust out the bronzer and liquid liner.
Now, I’m not about to become all furry kinky on you guys – or on Jeremy (sorry, dude) – but something about this silly, last-minute costume, felt more like an… awakening. As I transformed myself into a lion I felt as if I was uncovering the Leo I’ve grown in to. I don’t know a whole lot about the stars and the signs but my whole life I’ve been aware that I was born with my sun in Taurus – that I’m supposed to be a bull who is patient and slow, with a love of comfort and ease. And that has never felt quite right. I’m impatient and quick to make decisions. I crave pushing myself, and those around me, out of their comfort zones.
I had my astrological chart read for my 30th birthday in May. The woman reading my chart told me that the Leo Rising in my chart is more dominant than my sun in Taurus. That when I’m reading my horoscope in the back of a magazine I should read what it has to say for the Leo, for that is far more applicable to who I am than Taurus.
And so, my Leo Rising tells me that I like to be the center of attention – that I am idealistic and I like to appear strong, confident and dominant. It tells me that I’m loud and pay attention to my hair – but that I also radiate energy and want to make sure the people I love are alright. My Leo Rising tells me that others may not see me as beautiful, but as I grow up I will develop a regal bearing that will make others feel that I am dependable. It tells me that I want to make things happen and create a stir.
I don’t know about the stars and signs and lions and bulls, but I do know that I feel more me than I have ever felt in my life. With or without a face full of lion makeup.