Entries from October 2013

Dad Style

October 23, 2013



So far this pregnancy has been all me, me, me. And it’s obviously becoming more about the baby as he gets a little more established and consistently makes his presence known in both size and movement – plus with an upcoming due date he’s starting to become more of a real person about to enter this world (vs. just a fetus taking residence in my uterus). But this pregnancy is also about Jeremy – the other half responsible for all this baby-making. Jeremy’s also responsible for tipping my desire to have a family from feeling 50/50 unsure and torn to 51/49 in favor of baby. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be into taking this adventure with anyone but him.

So, I thought it’d be fun to interview him for this space about becoming a dad:

Kathleen: Everyone keeps asking me if you’re excited or how you’re feeling about becoming a dad. Say a little bit about that. 
Jeremy: Yes, pretty excited.  Everyone does ask that question, and the consensus among dads seems to be that it’s difficult to fully grasp the gravity of the situation until lil’ dude is fully here.  And it’s not in a “something could still go wrong” sort of way; it’s just not possible in our male brains to really FEEL the difference until it’s something we can see and touch – something that shits and vomits.

K: Have you always wanted kids?
J: I’d say, yes, I’ve always wanted to SOMEDAY have kids.  And I’d say today is a good day to be having kids.  That time when my first wife played the ol’ “I’m pregnant” April Fool’s Day joke on me – that was not a good day to be having kids.  It also turned out to not be a good day to be in that relationship.

K: What’s your biggest fear when it comes to being a parent?
J: I don’t know how to answer this question.
(A note from K: Jeremy is awesome at not worrying. Which might be one of my favorite things about him.) 

K: What are you looking forward to?
J: I’m mostly looking forward to the things that start happening a year or two down the road:  school, sports, and all those things that require a personality.  I’ve always been a little weird about the initial, sort of larval blob state of newborns.  Like, “Are you sure you want me to hold him/her/it?”  I’m sure it’ll be different for my own child, but typically I only really connect with kids when they’re at least a year old.

K: What’s your favorite part about me being pregnant.
J: Right now it’s flicking the halfway-pokin’-out belly button whilst saying “ding-a ding-a ding-a”.  (An activity, dear blog readers, which we’re both quite fond of.)  I also enjoy the increased openness in the acknowledgment of the existence of female flatulence, even if it is blamed on the baby.

K: What’s your least favorite part?
J: HORMONES.  (That said, it’s far better now than the first trimester.)

K: Any other interesting or funny observations about pregnancy you’d like to share?
J: I am now a believer in the power of hormones. I’m a little sad to be without a drinking partner, yes, whatever. But DUDE! Homegirl has NO MEMORY of those dozens of times pre-pregnancy that she proudly announced that she would still enjoy a glass of wine now and then (there were times it was going to be nightly). Seriously. Hormones straight up BRAINWASHED her. It’s a little scary. Like, what part of my memory is going to be erased when those daddy hormones come flooding in? Am I going to take one whiff of that baby’s head and, BOOM, I forget that I find boobies sexy?

Editors note from Kathleen: I literally have NO recollection of saying that I would have a glass every night while pregnant – maybe I was drunk when I said that? However, I do still find wine totally sexy. I will try to enjoy a glass here and there but admittedly, the hormones have informed me that it’s probably best to abstain. 

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I’m curious how your partners reacted when you were expecting? Did it become much more real for them once the baby was born? My mom always tells me that my dad was a bit skeptical about the whole baby thing but as soon as my older sister was born my dad said “Can we have another!?”

Here Jeremy is rocking the coolest diaper bag, that isn’t actually a diaper bag, ever. Our friends Justin & Audrey at Shop Good hooked us up with this United By Blue bag. They have a 1-year old boy and thought it was important that new parents like Jeremy and myself have a “diaper” bag that both of us feel comfortable carrying. Diaper bags are notoriously hideous so we feel super lucky to have received such a rad and thoughtful gift. What’s even cooler is that for every United by Blue product sold, UBB removes 1 pound of trash from our world’s ocean & waterways. Check out Shop Good’s bags here – including the OKC Apolis market bag. 

(NOTE: This is not a sponsored post and the bag was a gift from friends. Friends who are creative entrepreneurs with a rad-ass store that I will always love to promote.)

Scary Movies

October 21, 2013


Ah, October. The cool weather, changing leaves, and shorter days has me craving soup, sweaters, and scary movies.

When I was a kid being scared was somewhat of a sacred emotion. Now, to be clear I grew up in a very secure, creative, and loving home – so it was a safe place to be scared. I watched scary movies at a very young age – probably because my sister was 7 years older than me, my brother 4 years older, and they could handle it. And I didn’t want to be left out. Thriller was probably the first scary video I was exposed to, but along with the video I was also obsessed with watching the “making of” – a precursor to my penchant for zombies, documentaries, and creative productions. But the “making of” was also proof that it was all just pretend.

Now, while Thriller was probably the most age-appropriate scary thing I was watching at the time I was also staying awake past my bedtime, probably without my parents knowledge, to watch some seriously scary stuff with my siblings. Nightmare on Elm Street made an impression for sure. I distinctly remember being about 5 years old and home alone with my mom. She had probably gone to the bathroom but all of a sudden everything was a little too quiet and in a matter of seconds I had convinced myself that it was all a dream and Freddy Krueger was in the house. It probably didn’t help that we lived in the middle of the woods in a glass house – the perfect location for a scary movie to go down.

So if Freddy taught me to be afraid of monsters in my sleep the next movie to really blow my mind was Poltergeist. Because now it’s not just lusty teenagers getting murdered in their sleep – it’s a little girl who is my age being terrorized by ghosts and static-y TVs – just adding to the list of things to be afraid of. From there, Cujo taught me to be afraid of dogs. The Shining taught me to be afraid of Jack Nicholson and old hotels. Stephen King’s It taught me that I should absolutely be afraid of clowns. Chuckie managed to make me terrified of my favorite Alf doll. And Lost Boys … well … Lost Boys taught me from a young age that vampires are totally sexy.

But again, being scared was fun. Regardless of the fact that I’m still afraid of the dark, it forged some serious sibling bonds that can never be broken. And as we got older the movies started to shift from monsters to psychological thrillers. And then from psychological thrillers to total gross outs like Hostel. I’ll never forget going to see Hostel in the theater with my dad and my sister, who was 9 months pregnant at the time. Tara was happily chomping on popcorn while teenagers were getting their faces torched off by everyday psychopaths (sorry to spoil it for you) – meanwhile, I was curled up in the fetal position with my eyes closed and hands over my ears. The Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes are about as far as I can go these days … and even then I get a little queasy about it.

All of that said, this time of year I still get a hankering for a good scary movie. We’re currently watching American Horror Story: Coven on Wednesday nights and I’m browsing Netflix for some old favorites like Dawn of the Dead (2004) and The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

What are some of your favorite scary movies / genres? What was the first really scary movie you ever saw?

P.S. I was asking Jeremy this morning what movies scared him as a kid and he replied Alice in Wonderland and Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (Large Marge really threw him for a loop). I couldn’t help but laugh. Clearly he had a more wholesome upbringing than I.

27 Weeks | Chill Out

October 18, 2013



Yesterday I was feeling so calm about the whole baby thing. I felt like this is what life is about … making some babies, soaking up some sunshine. Having a pulse was simply enough. I felt totally chill about existing in this world. Today is another story. Today I’m trying to juggle the idea of building my business, my brand, and my expertise – all while having a tiny baby to take care of. That’s on top of daily grind stuff like finalizing a talk I’m giving next week at Confluence Conference and tackling my inbox. Plus, I got this idea in my head that I’d like to get into weight lifting f’reals post-baby (What!? I know…). It all feels a little overwhelming and I have it far from figured out. With a lil’ bit of self-coaching and a lot of love from Jeremy I’m able to come down from the crazy-pregnant-lady ledge.

In other news, things are actually pretty chill when it comes to being with child. I’m in a sweet spot where I’m far enough along that I’m no longer freaked out about miscarrying or accidentally killing my fetus by twisting the wrong way or having a cup of coffee. I feel adjusted to being pregnant, but I’m also not so big yet that daily life has become completely intolerable. I’m also far enough away from the due date that I’m not too terribly preoccupied with the thought of having to get this baby out of my body. Right now, I feel like me and this baby are in it together and that we both like it that way. Before getting pregnant I underestimated how much bonding would take place between me and the baby before he was ever born. I just imagined I would be giving birth to a total stranger – that it would be akin to an arranged marriage of sorts. I’m relieved to be proven wrong in the process of being pregnant.

Field Notes & Other Observations
• I went to the chiropractor for the first time ever this week! She adjusted my spine, neck, and pelvis. Apparently my pelvis is a little rotated to the right which was giving me some minor lower back pain after long walks. The adjustment has been helping with that but will also help to align things to spread apart properly when giving birth. She’s also helping release some of the tension in my round ligaments (which feels like a stitch in my side when walking). I’ll be going to her about twice a month for now, and then once a week once I hit 36 weeks. For local friends I saw Dr. Beverly and would absolutely recommend her to anyone (pregnant or otherwise).
• We got a tee-pee! The cats love it so far. I hope the kiddo does too. I assumed it would go in the nursery but I’m kind of liking it in our room.
• I want to start putting feelers out for a nanny. Someone who can come in 20-30 hours a week starting in March 2014 and help with baby, laundry, and some house stuff. In my mind I imagine this person being an artist who loves babies, a college student who loves babies, or a grandma-type who loves babies.

Anatomy of an Outfit
Boots – Uggs
Leggings + Tank – Lululemon
Sweater – H&M
(None of this outfit is maternity)

You can find all the previous maternity series posts here – click through each image for the specific post.

Fall Picnic

October 14, 2013






Picnics are always one of those things that I fantasize about happening on a more regular basis but the days slip by and before I know it the weather becomes too hot or too cold for a picnic to be a reality. So when I got an email from my girl Claire insisting that we have a fall picnic potluck I was all in. On a perfect Sunday afternoon under cloudy skies and just-right temperatures a small group of us chatted about entrepreneurship, laughed about placenta-eating, and discussed our favorite books over loads of really good (and mostly gluten-free, go figure) food. Here’s to more picnics!

Greer managed to snap these photos between loving on her new little guy Leo Wolfe (who I couldn’t take my eyes off of!).


26 Weeks | Call the Midwife

October 11, 2013



I guess it’s time to more explicitly share the details of my prenatal care as it gets closer to go-time.

Let me first say that prior to getting pregnant I had seen The Business of Being Born (twice!) and I was 100% on the home birthing bandwagon. The importance and benefits of an all natural birth absolutely resonated. But then I got pregnant and completely overwhelmed by everything involved. The real experience was no longer isolated to just the idea of labor and delivery. The hormones, morning sickness, and roller coaster emotions from “yay!” to “oh eff, what are we doing?” all played into me being too exhausted to really care about the location where I plan to push this baby out.

Here in Oklahoma you can basically pay thousands out-of-pocket for a home birth or you can go to a hospital. We don’t have birthing centers, which is unfortunate. So I’m going to a local hospital (where my totally non-woo-woo sister delivered both of her babies – all natural and without drugs) that has a midwife group. My insurance is covering 100% of the costs (minus a one-time $25 co-pay). That means my prenatal care, labor, and delivery will be in the care of midwives in a hospital setting. What’s the difference between midwives and OB/GYNs? Obstetricians are trained as surgeons, first and foremost. Now, not all OBs are C-section scalpel happy but the way I understand it, a midwife is more about getting the baby out of your vagina with less monitoring and fewer interventions. They support natural births without drugs. That would be my preference. However, I think it’s great that modern medicine has pain management options available to me should I want or need them. And I might. Who knows.

So I’ve been going to the midwives once a month. Now that I’m in my third trimester I’ll be going in for a checkup once every 2 weeks. At these appointments they listen to the heartbeat, measure my belly, and ask me if I have any questions. Sometimes I have to pee in a cup and sometimes I have blood drawn. It’s all very routine and not very touchy-feely. I have to admit … I was craving more of a connection with these busy ladies who are simply just trying to do their job, which is to deliver healthy babies. They’re nice and professional and I’m super confident that I’m in really great care. But that said, I was craving a bit more of a connection. So that’s why I hired a doula. I needed more support. A coach, of sorts. Someone to reassure me that I’m not dying and that it’s totally okay if I poop while pushing.

Other Field Notes & Observations:
• I’m officially in my third trimester! I’m anxious to meet this little baby but at the same time I’m totally savoring this time where he’s super easy to take care of inside my body vs. outside. I’m sleeping in, watching movies – all the things you exhausted parents are telling me I should be doing and enjoying now.
• I took my glucose screening test for gestational diabetes yesterday. Apparently lots of paleo-eating women get false positives on this one and I almost opted out. I’ll get my results today.
• I also got my first flu shot ever.
• My belly is measuring at 28 weeks even though I’m only 26 and some change along.
• But my weight gain has chilled out (and my attitude around it has chilled out too). I think having a legit baby belly helps. Also, I realized our original math was off and that as of 27 weeks I’ve really only gained 14-18 lbs. total, which is motivating. That said, I can’t zip up my favorite boots anymore. Sad day.
• I had a my first (and hopefully last) middle-of-the-night trip to urgent care. It’s really silly but I was having really severe shoulder pain all night on Friday. At 3AM I got up to Google it and the internet told me that my liver was failing and that my baby had a 60% chance of surviving after the necessary c-section. It even said “DO NOT GO TO BED – this could be serious. Go to the hospital right now.” If this seems extreme know that this is what it’s like for pregnant women to interact with Google. So I played it safe and Jeremy and I made a quick jaunt to the hospital where I’ll be delivering. They ran a series of tests and everything checked out fine. I was sent home with over-the-counter Tylenol for the mysterious shoulder pain – which may be due to the hormone relaxin in my joints. I was told to come back when I was in labor. Ha.
• Jeremy and I went to a cloth diapering class and got registered for loads of cloth diapers at Green Bambino. The staff there has been super helpful and I’m glad to have a local resource like Green Bambino for all things baby. We’ll also be registering at Target this weekend – which I’m looking forward to.
• I still love feeling the baby move around. I asked my midwife specifically how the baby is positioned in my belly – apparently his head is down towards my cervix and his back and booty curve around on the left side of my belly. That means his arms are down towards the bottom of my uterus and his legs kick out to the right side of my belly. It’s cool being able to more specifically identify his movements.

Anatomy of an Outfit:
Jacket – Ben Sherman
Tank – Urban Outfitters
Bralette – Target
Leggings – American Apparel
Boots – Fiorentini + Baker

You can find all the previous maternity series posts here – click through each image for the specific post.


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