40 Weeks | Hey Baby

40WEEKS

40WEEKSB

Hey Baby, 
As of right now you are 4 days past due and have seemingly decided to hang tight right where you are. As excited (read: impatient) as I am to see your little face and hold you in my arms, keeping you safe in my belly while you finish cooking is fine by me. A friend of mine told me that you were taking your time because you’re getting your final instructions from your spirit guides and finalizing your life map with the elders. That once you’ve confirmed everything you’ll be on your way. But if you’re anything like my nephews you’re probably getting distracted by thinking about Legos and Minecraft. Either way, you’re teaching me an important lesson in patience – one I need to learn. 

It’s hard to imagine what life will be like once you arrive but I’ve started day dreaming about all the fun we’re going to have together. Walks, books, museums, camping, hikes, world travel and backyard adventures. It’s going to be amazing. But I also dream about cleaning your poopy butt and holding you when you’re sad. Putting a cold washcloth on your head when you get sick and patting you on the back and saying “there, there” when life gets a little too hard. And trust, it will get hard. But even so, I can’t wait to show you how cool it is to live in this world. 

Love, 
Your Mom

P.S. I can’t wait to see the look on your dad’s face when you’re born. 

Field Notes & Other Observations: 
• I’m so impatient partially because my mom and sister both had their first babies a couple weeks early. So I just assumed I would too. I’m by no means late and am still within a safe window of being in term until 42 weeks. (I’ve even had a friend deliver a healthy baby boy at 43 weeks!)
• My midwife knew that I thought I would be early but admitted today that she had a feeling I’d go over. It was actually reassuring to hear.
• Everyone on Instagram is sharing induction techniques – I think at this point I’ve heard them all. Beyond eating spicy food and having awesome sex (things I normally do anyway) I’m not super comfortable with actively trying to get this baby out ASAP. My midwife and I have a plan of attack once I hit 42 weeks but until then I’ll hang tight. I’m curious to see what it is that I’ll be doing when I finally go into labor. I’m hoping it’s watching videos of red pandas playing in the snow.
• I’ve been going to the chiropractor for a while now and because I hit 40 weeks she gave me a more extensive adjustment where she loosened up a ligament under my tailbone. She said my tailbone was significantly in the way and did some other adjustments to get my pelvis and hips in the great alignment for birthing babies. She was also super encouraging about just letting the baby cook – that so much development happens in these last few weeks and inside my body is a good place for those things to happen.
• Sleeping is becoming more and more uncomfortable. From having to switch sides every hour (and rolling over is no easy task) to getting up to pee every two hours… I suppose it’s good practice for when baby arrives.
• I ordered the Dr. Sears baby book. I like what I’m reading in it which is mostly to go with your gut and not worry too much about rules and routines. I gave it to Jeremy to check out and he was disappointed that the “just for dads” section was all about sex and not pressuring your wife to get it on too soon. He thought that was a little ridiculous and sexist. I agree. I mean, what dude is all “Hey… I know you just pushed a baby out (or had major surgery) and are really tired and hormonal but wanna get it on?”
• I’ve become obsessed with Parks & Rec streaming on Netflix. It’s not really relevant to my pregnancy, but I bet I will probably always associate it with these final days down the road.
• Oh! The other day I had to food process some whole almonds. It was rather loud and when I started the food processor the baby jumped! It was really cute and definitely made him feel very much like a real person.
• He’s also developed sleep patterns that I can pick up on. For example, he stays pretty quiet through the night and I know he’s sleepy until about 9:00AM. His favorite time for a dance party is around 11AM and 7PM. I’m curious to see if some of these patterns hold over once he’s born.
• The baby moved from my right side, where he’s been hanging out for a couple weeks, to my left. Which is apparently a great position for him to be in for birthing.

Pooping and Birthing: 
Okay. This deserves it’s own section. Because everyone loves talking about the possibility of pooping while giving birth. Myself included. If you are unaware, when pushing a baby out, it’s very probable that you could poop too. Not only because all of those pushing muscles are next to each other but because the baby itself can act like a squeegee on your colon. So one of the “just you waits” I get is “just you wait until you poop while pushing that baby out!”. Here’s the deal. I don’t give a shit. (heh). If I’m pooping myself it probably means that that I’m also about to meet my baby. I simply refuse to be embarrassed about a poop and I really just don’t think it’s that big of a deal if it happens. That said… every time I go to the bathroom I think “This is a poop that I won’t be having during the delivery.”

And on that note. See you all at 41 weeks.

  1. Heather

    The pooping thing made me laugh. I knew there was a possibility, so I just told my husband not to tell me if I did with my first kiddo. The second time around I would have known since I was pushing in the tub, and probably wouldn’t have cared because my mind was occupied with other things. ;) Actually, a good sign you’re going to go into labor soon is if your body starts clearing itself out (diarrhea, etc) that happened my second time around. Wishing you the best! The last days are always filled with excitement as you wait for your little one to decide when they will arrive. I think babies just know when the right time is – better than we will ever will.

    • It kind of makes me laugh thinking about Jeremy fishing my poop out of a birthing tub. It’s a good thing we’ll have to wait a good 6 weeks to get it on again afterwards. Maybe he will have forgotten about it by then. ;) And yes! I hear the clearing-out-of-the-system seems to be a common thing.

      Agreed! I fully trust that this baby will know when the time is right.

    • Ashley

      Yes! I was going to say the same thing – the, ahem, clearing itself out happened to me in super early labor so there was so no poop fishing in the tub!

      But, truly, I don’t know that I would’ve cared at that point. Ha.

  2. okay, two things…my friend totally pooped while giving birth. she, too, did not give a shit. against everyone’s advice she had chicken nuggets right before induction because she said she’d rather be full & happy going into labor than hungry & grumpy & fearful of poop.

    ALSO, my friend’s newborn was laying funny one day & i commented while we were all sitting on the couch and she said he laid & slept in the same position in the womb. So weird, so cool.

    • Food is a priority for sure! You’ve gotta have some fuel for delivery!

  3. Amanda

    I knew you’d love that damn red panda video. ;) Maybe baby’s spirit animal will be a red panda.

    • YES! Jeremy stayed home sick from work yesterday so we spent a good part of our morning watching pandas play in the snow. THE BEST.

  4. Crystal

    I think you might be surprised by sexy time feelings after birth. My husband and I definitely weren’t in any sort of mind frame (or physical condition) to do the deed BUT after our babies were born, we were SO IN LOVE. I mean, for me, seeing my husband as a Papa and him witnessing me go through one of the hardest things in my life for our baby, it stirred up all all kinds of feelings that I wasn’t expecting. Yes, love, for sure. But really madly, deeply, crazy in love, first time crush, butterfly feelings for one another wasn’t something that I had thought about.

    • I can imagine it! I just didn’t really think about it translating as sexy… maybe we’ll just have to take it back to 3rd base for a while. Ha!

  5. Jamie

    Don’t be surprised if you see tears of joy with the look on Jeremy’s face. In 17 years, I’ve seen my hubby cry two times…at the births of our boys. New daddy tears are the best.

    • I have no doubt there will be tears involved.

  6. jenG

    Oh. Oh, Kathleen. I’m so glad I FINALLY got over here. I’ve been thinking lately that it’s been AGES since I stopped by…

    At least nine months, which is about how long my son’s been kicking me from the outside rather than the inside. Apparently, I stopped reading most of my favorite blogs around that time (things got really, really busy!). Seems like once mine came out, yours started making his presence known. There’s no link or correlation or meaning, but it makes me happy anyway. I’m glad I got here in time to congratulate you in this quiet before the storm.

    Congratulations and very best wishes to all of you. Hang in there! (My boy stayed in as long as possible and tried really hard to avoid the doctor who had to go in and get him. Turns out? Not out of character for him. ;) )

    • Hi Jen! It’s so good to hear from you and I totally understand. I think it’s so sweet that you delivered around the time I conceived! Congrats to you and your little guy. XOXO

  7. penelope

    hooray for positive poop talk! it’s such a bummer that women feel so stressed out by this. i’m a doula and for me, poop means progress.

    love your attitude around this and so many other aspects of your pregnancy and birth. you, jeremy and the babe are going to do great!

  8. thenik

    YES! The sleep patterns. I noticed that while JM was in the womb. Boy always sleep soundly through the night in the womb, and carried on that way out here. He was sleeping through the night right away. We’d have to wake him to eat! Almost four years now he’s always slept the same schedule + naps. I remember waking up before he did while he was in the womb. Even the day he was born. That still happens most days. I wish you guys the same kind of sleep awesomeness.

    • Ah, that is so so cool. I HOPE that’s the case for this little boy!

  9. I love your mind set. Pooping the bed has always been a fear for me. I know SO many people do it, but still a fear. I like how you’re thinking about it and in the act of having a baby I know I won’t really give a crap – pun intended.

    I love Parks n’ Rec, such a great show.

    I also love the thought you have about why it’s taking the baby so long to exit. It sounds very epic and quest like. I love it.

    Lastly – I never thought about getting up all hours of the night to pee as a form of training but you’re totally right. Mother nature is amazing.

  10. Olivia

    Honestly, watching Eric’s face as he watched Weston come into the world was what got me through the final pushes! He was doing this cry-laugh, and it was amazing.

    I bought Eric this book (Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads by Gary Greenberg ), and he LOVED/S it! I think Jeremy would love it too!

    I look back on my labor and delivery and have fond memories of it–it can be a really special time! I never pooped on the table…but when I went to pee like an hour after delivery, I had a panic attack! It ended up being more of a blood sugar drop and I was okay soon there after!

    • Alison Rebecca Martin

      I was going to recommend Be Prepared, too. My husband hated the tone most books took regarding the dad’s role in everything. He ended up being pretty well prepared!

  11. TIF

    No one really points out you’re pooping, and you won’t notice. You’ll be too ready to push that baby out. Even during my homebirth with my second, when one of my midwives was on fish net duty in the birth pool, no one said a word. We were all too excited to meet our new family member!

    I really wanted to comment in order to say: Thank you. You probably have the most down-to-earth (and warmly similar) feelings about birth and pregnancy. This post brought a few tears to my eyes because it was that refreshing. Happy, healthy, grounded: you’re an awesome mama and that’s one lucky boy whose face you’ll be seeing soon.

    Congrats!

    • I’m considering a water birth (I’m going to see how I feel in the moment) and laugh thinking about Jeremy with a fish net. Haha! And yeah, I’ve heard nobody cares in the moment. The pushing mama is preoccupied, the birthing team is professional enough to not care and I’m sure most dads + partners will wade through shit, blood, and fire to get to their birthing wife/partner and baby.

      Thank you for your sweet words! Pregnancy has been quite the experience… I’m glad to have been able to document and share the transformation here. XO

  12. Erin

    The almonds being crushed and your little guy jumping – being startled – is pretty precious. You’re making 40 weeks look beautiful. Here’s to meeting this little guy very very soon!

  13. SusanA

    “Your mom” and “your dad” – how wonderful are those words?!

    Love the waiting rocker in your photos!

  14. Katie F.

    Love your positivity and the almond story reminder (my little lady, before we knew she was a she, jumped like crazy during a theater movie at ~30 weeks. So surreal and amazing)! You’re so right about shit/fire/blood. Who will care? Not anyone who is with you at birth, and certainly not your beautiful baby seeing his mama’s face for the first time!

  15. AwesomeMargie

    This post made me laugh and made my heart sad. I am going to miss carrying my kid, patting him on the back and saying, “there, there.”

    During my pregnancy, I read Your Pregnancy Week by Week and, after The Kid was born, I read Your Baby’s First Year Week by Week. The chapters weren’t too long and it was informative. Dad books are awful. They are all over the place and yea, they focus on the sex part a lot. :/ So, I suggested the husband read my books.

    Damnit, Kathleen, I am just too excited to hear that bebe, you, Jeremy and the cats are good.

  16. Megan

    HA. Yes to everything about the pooping.

    Side eye to the sexist/sex stuff. Something no one warned me about was that post-partum sex would be nearly impossible due to the drop of estrogen during breastfeeding. (Though this isn’t the case for everyone.) The only thing more painful than intercourse was post-partum pooping, which no one warned me about either.

    It’s really all about the poop.

    Can’t wait for your little fella to get here. Pregnancy has its wonders, but every day I’m so grateful he’s out instead of in! Wishing you well!

    • AwesomeMargie

      YES! I started panicking when day 5 arrived and I HADN’T pooped yet! It really is all about the poop!

  17. If I knew you in person, I would have already driven over to your house with a copy of “Everyone Poops.” :-)

    Keep hanging in there! He’ll be out and getting distracted by Minecraft and “What the Fox Say?” videos on YouTube before you know it…at least that’s what my two nephews are currently obsessed with. ;-)

  18. Sunny

    Well, now I want to see the red pandas playing in the snow! Where, where?

    I’m so happy that you are considering a water birth and curious to see how things go for you! My water birth was incredible, so I give it a high yes. You have paid such good attention to the culture of birth and to your baby. I know you and your midwife will know the right thing when you get there and all throughout the birthing. You’ve got this. Cheering you on. A bit like one foot in front of the other in the Himalayas. Only it’s your heart about to explode, not your lungs. But don’t imagine explosions during birth. Urg. Smile. No, no, a flower. Your uterus is a flower opening …

    “There is no other organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ they would brag about it. So should we.” – Ina May

    A little poop ain’t got nothing on your uterus, woman.

    • Leslie

      This comment is perfect! Sunny knows what she’s talking about!

      • I second that. Sunny is the best. Truly.

        P.S. I definitely plan on drawing on the lessons I learned on that Everest trek during my labor. Just breathe.

  19. Micha

    Well I’m glad you haven’t given birth yet because if you had this lovely post wouldn’t have happened. So entertaining and sweet and honest! Also, if ever there was a lady to stay pregnant for as long as possible, it’s you! You make it look damn good girl!! Congrats and thanks for sharing your life w/strangers like me who are wishing you the best even when you don’t realize it.

  20. Leslie

    You’ve so got this. Wishing you the best in birth!! The Dr. Sears books (I had almost all of them) were my favorite too. Don’t read anything else. I’d get distracted by sleep training books and others that told me what was supposed to be happening and then I’d go back to the Sears books and feel immediately better. Read baby books that make you feel good about the way you naturally parent. Enjoy every single second with that new little one when they arrive. It’s so very amazing and magical. xoxo

  21. Leslie

    Also – I pooped with my first. TOTALLY didn’t even care. When the midwife saw it she knew we were in business. Baby was born 45 minutes later!

  22. Ashley

    I just started watching Parks & Rec on Netflix!! I wasn’t too in love with season 1 but I kept watching and now I can’t get enough. I wan to marry Ron Swanson.

  23. Ashley

    Rock on with this mindset.

    In MORE overdue baby good news – a few studies have shown babies born after their due date are often smarter. So, genius baby!

    And Dr. Sears saved my sanity in the early weeks and months when I was terrified everything I was doing was going to scar my baby forever. He’s like, “Chiiiill, yo. Let that baby sleep with you. You know how to be a parent.” It made me feel normal. You got this!

    • Ashley

      PS: Really awesome sex is what sent me into labor. Just SAYIN’. It won’t happen for a while afterward, so might as well while you have a baby inside instead of outside. ;)

  24. Sarah

    That last paragraph is HILARIOUS! I was mortified about this possibility during my pregnancy. I vividly remember finding out that this was a possibility mid-way through, and calling my (OBGYN) mother-in-law for confirmation. She told me that it was very common. I was told that I didn’t actually crap myself while in labor, but by that point I was in so much pain that I would not have cared in the slightest. Poop plays a big role in your life with a newborn, I guess labor-poo is just the universe’s way of telling you to get used to it. Sorry you’re still pregnant but it’ll all be worth it very, very soon!

  25. Laura McHugh

    Congratulations!

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