Some Gratitude

November 27, 2014


It’s common knowledge by now that happy people are grateful people, right? And it’s true. I know that when I’m in a shit mood and want to have a full blown pity party for myself I’m the opposite of grateful. I find anything and everything to be upset about. At 5AM this morning after a night of cuddling and nursing a coughing baby (who is on his third ear infection in just two months) I began to cry. Not just because I haven’t had more than 30 minutes of consecutive sleep all night but because it’s been 10+ months of not really sleeping every single night. That’s when all of pity’s friends began to show up – guilt, anger, loneliness, and shame just to name a few.

So around 6:15 I asked Jeremy to take the baby and I got one glorious hour of solid sleep. I woke up insanely grateful – which is both timely and appropriate given the holiday.

I am so incredibly grateful for my healthy and happy baby. He’s napping in my arms as I write this post and I keep taking breaks to put my chapped lips to his big fuzzy head and inhale. He makes me grateful for life.

I spend a lot of time studying self-improvement basically so I can be more like Jeremy. He’s really good at just living. The description of being good at living life, for me, conjures up an image of a shirtless and spontaneous Matthew McConaughey – surfing with a perfectly rolled joint hanging out of his mouth … but that’s not what I’m talking about, and that’s not Jeremy. Jeremy is really good at living a life that isn’t the bohemian adventure-sporting fantasy. He’s good at living the daily grind – and for that I’m grateful. (Though, I wouldn’t be mad if he wanted to get me buzzed and go surfing together… just sayin’.)

This morning when I started thinking bout what I’m thankful this year Miss Taylor kept coming top of mind. Miss Taylor is Fox’s babysitter. She loves him. And he loves her. I am so grateful for all the wonderful ladies who take care of Fox when I need to take care of myself and my work.

I had no idea how much purpose my work would give me when Tara and I decided to launch Braid a little over three years ago. This year has challenged me in so many ways, and my work has kept me grounded and certain when my confidence has been shaken in other areas (like growing into my new role as a mom). For that I’m grateful.

I’m grateful that I can take off my shirt and make everyone in the room (everyone in the room being Fox and Jeremy) smile. I am so incredibly thankful for the ability to feed, nourish, and comfort my baby with my own body.

I believe things like essential oils, chiropractic adjustments, and meditation are great tools for healing, but today I’m especially grateful for antibiotics and vaccinations.

Maria cleans my house once a week. Some weeks she’ll clean out my fridge and change my sheets. Other weeks she’ll sweep the front porch and water my plants. If Fox is home and crying she’ll pick him up and calm him down while I get his diaper bag together. I am so thankful for her.

Last week I asked my mom and dad how often they think about dying. Apparently my dad thinks about dying once every 35 minutes and my mom considers it maybe once a month. I’m grateful for my dad because he’s been reminding me that he’s going to die any minute now for the last 30 years. I’m grateful for my mom because she’s never going to die.

I’ve got sweet potatoes on the stove and green beans that need trimming – otherwise, I’d go on and on with all the things I’m grateful for. Actually, I think I will.

Happy Thanksgiving. XO

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