Sometimes I Pee Myself a Little Bit

December 23, 2015


This post is sponsored by Icon, a new line of underwear from Thinx. My inner gremlin tells me I’m selling out and that writing for another brand is insincere but today I give myself permission to be compensated to write about something challenging – and to do that for a brand as progressive as Icon is pretty awesome. I like what they’re putting out there – and am honored to be partnering with Icon.

The first time I can recall peeing myself was in my 1st grade music class. My music teacher went by his first name – “Bob” – which made him seem really cool but what wasn’t so cool is that he’d never excuse us to go to the bathroom. I peed myself twice that year in his class. When I was a kid I had this trick where I’d pee justalittlebit which was enough to trick my body into chilling out until I could make it to a bathroom, but I peed myself twice that year in Bob’s class. After music class I would literally blame my pee-soaked jeans on the rain. (It wasn’t raining.)

When I was in college I waitressed tables at a small shotgun style diner and one morning when my elementary music teacher, Bob, sat in my section I chose to forgive that he didn’t give 7-year-old me permission to go to the bathroom. I was sincerely excited to see him again so many years later – because despite his inability to empathize with the bladder of a 7-year old he really was a great music teacher. Then Bob tipped me .37¢ in change which is probably more offensive than no tip at all. Maybe Bob just wasn’t a very considerate man.

But now I’m a grown ass woman and confession: sometimes I still pee myself a little. Sometimes it’s during really mundane activities – like jaunting across a busy street and pretty much every time I sneeze (and I’ve found the more polite I try to be when I sneeze the more guaranteed it is that I’ll pee myself.) Other times I pee myself a little when I’m being my most badass self. Like when I’m being punched in the face at the boxing gym. I also look at women running with strollers, in total awe, because … WTF, I’d be peeing myself FOR SURE.

I pee myself a little bit because almost two years ago I pushed a baby out of my vagina for 1.5 hours. So sure, I have a good excuse and a really great kid out of the deal, but that doesn’t make peeing myself a little bit any less embarrassing or inconvenient. I’ve got well-meaning mommy friends telling me I’m going to pee myself forever and that’s just the way it is, and on the flip side I’ve got my gynecologist telling me I should’ve shaped that shit up by 6 weeks postpartum (and yes, I’m doing my Kegels). I’m feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard spot – or rather, I’m doomed to a life sentence of not being able to do jumping jacks without extreme caution followed by Googling “pelvic floor exercises that actually work” and “will I really pee myself a little bit for the rest of my life?”

So when Thinx – the company known for it’s period underwear and “scandalous” New York subway ads – asked me if I’d like to try out their new line of underwear called Icon for women who pee themselves a little bit I was totally down (plus, the marketing “VPee” listens to my podcast and knows I’m not shy about sharing TMI). Icon sent me two styles – a buff high-waisted panty and a black bikini panty.

I decided to take my new high-tech underwear on a road trip (prime for trying not to pee yourself while drinking coffee and laughing too hard with a girlfriend), but at the same time I felt like I was about to start my period. So I asked my contact if the Icon line worked like the Thinx period undies – in other words, could I pee AND bleed in them? She said yes, but warned me that they didn’t have as much coverage for night-time bleeding like the Thinx line does.

The underwear itself is made out of a super soft material and the crotch feels like it has a very thin pad sewn inside – however, once I was wearing the undies I didn’t have the bulk, bunch, folding, or saturation that typically happens with a liner. The sewn-in pad is a little crinkly (I assume it’s a waterproof barrier) but it doesn’t make any obvious noise when you’re wearing it. Typically, I wear a medium but according to their size chart I was just between sizes so I went with small – I should’ve ordered medium because the smalls were just a bit snug*. I may have peed myself a little bit on my road trip but I wouldn’t really know because the underwear was so absorbent and dry it was a non-issue – either way I liked feeling as if I could laugh hard, sneeze politely, and jaunt across the street without feeling shame for not doing enough Kegels. Oh, and I did in fact start my period while wearing my Icon undies and for the first time in months didn’t bleed through my jeans (that postpartum period is back with a vengeance). Now, I can’t imagine wearing these undies out on a hot date, but will definitely be sporting them every time I workout, from heavy lifting, to yoga, to boxing.

Finally, my husband does my laundry (I know, he’s a winner) and he didn’t even notice the difference between my Icon undies and my boy shorts I typically wear when I work out. They laundered great without needing any special care. At $30 bucks a pop these undies aren’t cheap but I’d say they’re totally worth it – especially if you’re taking daily precautions like wearing a pad or liner before working out.

Check out Icon: pee-proof underwear here.

*Note: My contact at Icon informed me that they are updating their sizing chart to be a bit more accurate on sizing – which is great for us gals who consistently fall between sizes.

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