New Years has always felt a little magical to me. New beginnings, new resolutions, new promises. But in 2014 I lived my whole life one day at a time – and today proved to be just another day when Fox woke up alert and ready for the day at 5:15AM – an hour earlier than usual. I tried to convince him that it was still “night night” and reminisced on a time when 5:15AM really was smack dab in the middle of my night.
Giving birth to Fox at home, on my bed, was a big way to begin 2014. Every day since then has been a bit of a sleep-deprived hormonal haze but some other cool things happened in 2014.
• We snuck away to Asheville, NC to officiate and celebrate the marriage of Liz and Micah. On the way home we spent the night in the airport. Fox’s first real adventure.
• We went on our annual family beach trip and played lots of croquet and shuffleboard.
• We moved out of the 1920s house we got married in and birthed our baby in and into a mid-century modern 1950s home across the street from my sister.
• I gave a talk about overcoming fear as a creative entrepreneur at The Circles Conference – and it was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my career thus far.
• We went to Palm Springs to hang out with a bunch of badass designers. We saw Salvation Mountain and it was so neat.
• Fox had a three-way with Thumper and his lady bunny at Disney World and it was the best moment of his life so far.
Then there were the moments, for better and for worse, that don’t quite fit into bullet form that filled my year. The big belly laughs, soft milk breath… hot fevers and teary meltdowns.
I started this post yesterday, on New Year’s Eve, and as I swept up all the fragments of my one-day-at-a-time year I couldn’t quite piece together the big picture. But today it’s clear that it doesn’t really matter because the day-to-day is what really matters – how you do anything is how you do everything. Everyday is every day. So at 5:15AM this morning I chose to be responsible for my day. I chose love. That looked like dragging my ass out of bed, putting on my robe, and reading a stiff book with beautiful photos and few words to my sweet baby.
I’ve got some pretty big goals and plans for 2015 – we’re growing our team at Braid, I’m starting a podcast, and I am going to get in the best shape of my life – just to name a few. But I’ve learned that the big scary goals are easy – the stuff like hiking to Mount Everest base camp, completing a Whole30, building a successful business, having an unmedicated home birth… it’s not that hard. I find that the little victories that are far more challenging. Finding enthusiasm in spite of the emotional turmoil that sleep-deprivation ushers in… that’s hard. Making magic when you’d rather just go through the motions … that’s hard. Choosing love when you feel afraid … that’s hard.
So, 2015 for me is about choice. I choose magic. I choose energy. I choose love and light. I choose adventure and style and art and expression. Every single day. It’s my choice.