I Choose 2015

2015

New Years has always felt a little magical to me. New beginnings, new resolutions, new promises. But in 2014 I lived my whole life one day at a time – and today proved to be just another day when Fox woke up alert and ready for the day at 5:15AM – an hour earlier than usual. I tried to convince him that it was still “night night” and reminisced on a time when 5:15AM really was smack dab in the middle of my night.

Giving birth to Fox at home, on my bed, was a big way to begin 2014. Every day since then has been a bit of a sleep-deprived hormonal haze but some other cool things happened in 2014.

We snuck away to Asheville, NC to officiate and celebrate the marriage of Liz and Micah. On the way home we spent the night in the airport. Fox’s first real adventure.
• We went on our annual family beach trip and played lots of croquet and shuffleboard.
• We moved out of the 1920s house we got married in and birthed our baby in and into a mid-century modern 1950s home across the street from my sister.
• I gave a talk about overcoming fear as a creative entrepreneur at The Circles Conference – and it was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my career thus far.
• We went to Palm Springs to hang out with a bunch of badass designers. We saw Salvation Mountain and it was so neat.
• Fox had a three-way with Thumper and his lady bunny at Disney World and it was the best moment of his life so far.

Then there were the moments, for better and for worse, that don’t quite fit into bullet form that filled my year. The big belly laughs, soft milk breath… hot fevers and teary meltdowns.

I started this post yesterday, on New Year’s Eve, and as I swept up all the fragments of my one-day-at-a-time year I couldn’t quite piece together the big picture. But today it’s clear that it doesn’t really matter because the day-to-day is what really matters – how you do anything is how you do everything. Everyday is every day. So at 5:15AM this morning I chose to be responsible for my day. I chose love. That looked like dragging my ass out of bed, putting on my robe, and reading a stiff book with beautiful photos and few words to my sweet baby.

I’ve got some pretty big goals and plans for 2015 – we’re growing our team at BraidI’m starting a podcast, and I am going to get in the best shape of my life – just to name a few. But I’ve learned that the big scary goals are easy – the stuff like hiking to Mount Everest base camp, completing a Whole30, building a successful business, having an unmedicated home birth… it’s not that hard. I find that the little victories that are far more challenging. Finding enthusiasm in spite of the emotional turmoil that sleep-deprivation ushers in… that’s hard. Making magic when you’d rather just go through the motions … that’s hard. Choosing love when you feel afraid … that’s hard.

So, 2015 for me is about choice. I choose magic. I choose energy. I choose love and light. I choose adventure and style and art and expression. Every single day. It’s my choice.

Fall Back

FallBack_MessySheets

FallBack_CatCrib

My shoulders are still sun-kissed from a summer that just kept hanging around a little past its welcome. But Fall is here. Leaves have started turning, a few falling. Fall is here because we had to put an extra blanket on the bed and the heat has started kicking in to warm the house, rather than cool it, to 68º degrees. The sun has started rising a little further to the south and seems to hang a little lower on the horizon which gives the air a golden quality. The fact that I’ve even noticed the position of the sun in the sky makes me feel decidedly adult – oh, and the little baby I’ve not only managed to keep alive but has started clinging to my legs as I put on my makeup in the morning. And with that, I finally get why daylight savings ending is more of a curse than a blessing when you have a baby, because it turns out babies don’t know how to read clocks so they wake up whenever it feels right. So for us that means this morning we were awoken by a squealing baby at 5:19AM rather than 6:19AM. Fall is here – and so we’ll bust out the sweaters, we’ll begin baking apples, and roasting winter squash. Let’s fall back.

Playing Small

PlayingSmall

There are days when I feel like shutting it all down. I have this romantic vision of selling all my things, living in an Airstream, and essentially falling off the face of the earth while I travel the world and become a textile artist – and even *gasp* NOT blog about it. This fantasy, as wonderful as it sounds, is usually spurred when I feel the need to escape The Critics and The Gremlins, both external and internal, in work and life. I “go there” when I’m afraid to show up and be seen. So, I came across this quote by Marianne Williamson the other day and it resonated big time. I’m not 100% on board with the “God” phrasing, personally, but the core message rang loud and true:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

Okay, so it’s still very possible that one day I may ditch all of my worldly belongings to become a gypsy and a fine artist, but I don’t think I’ll ever have it in me to stop living out loud along the way.

To-Do in 2014

Instagram

Okay, so I talked about how I want to feel in 2014 (like a warrior) but there are plenty of things I’d like to DO in 2014 too. In fact, 2013 has been a year of reflection and writing – this year I’m hoping to get out of my head a little and get down to more doing. So here’s just a snippet of my to-do list for the next year:

• Bravely birth my baby into this world
• Fall madly in love with said baby (though, I think that one is already covered)
• Cook + eat really good food / experiment more in the kitchen
• More camping + hiking
• Get into the best shape of my life / build muscle
• Climb a 5.11
• Edit + overhaul + invest in my dream wardrobe
• Keep said wardrobe off the floor
• Give my husband loving he can’t deny
• Enthusiastically celebrate every holiday
• Collaborate more with artists + bloggers I admire
Drink more water
• Take more photos
• Soak up the Oklahoma pink skies (pink sunsets / sunrises are my happy place)
• Begin an adventure in high-pointing (more on this later)
• Create + write meaningful products (digital product + coaching is where my biz passion is these days)
• Keep my toenails nice / get pedicures often
• Read more books / a blend of fiction + non-fiction
• Read to my baby + take him on walks daily
• Experiment with fiber art
• Landscape the back yard
• Stick to a meditation habit

Yeah, it’s ambitious. But I’m fueled up and ready to make 2014 the best year yet.

Finally, I wanted to take a moment to say thanks to all of you for joining along in this adventure with me. Sharing my life here has truly allowed me to create my own story – to become the person I want to be. So thank you for your support – whether that’s with sweet comments, supporting my business, or simply enjoying what I write and sending good vibes. I appreciate you!

Now I want to hear from you! What are some things you want to do to make 2014 an adventure? 

P.S. The images above are collaged from my Instagram (the bottom right is from Claire’s Instagram). I plan on doing lots more real life sharing there in 2014 too. 

Hydrate

HYDRATE

HYDRATE_B

Last year I took a different approach to making New Year’s resolutions by picking four words to drive me through 2013. They were illuminate, radiate, liberate, and hydrate. The first three words were a little more conceptual and open to interpretation as I narrowed in on my purpose in my own business and life. The last, hydrate, was a bit more literal. Here were the intentions I set for “hydrate”:

Hydrate // I’m thirsty for knowledge, story, travel and adventure. I also need to drink more water.

But as 2013 comes to an end “hydrate” has become way more meaningful and impactful than I ever imagined it would when I set that intention this time last year. In fact, “hydrate” may sum up what 2013 has meant for me.

OCEANS & ADVENTURE & LIFE 
Most of my travel in 2013 was very beach-centric. In Tulum, Mexico the ocean, under a full moon in Scorpio, reminded me that we’re all connected. In Sayulita, Mexico playing in the ocean was the only thing that could get my mind off a good bout of morning sickness. In Seaside, Florida the ocean became a playground for my growing family. These connected bodies of water gave me a lot to think about when it comes to the concept of hydration as it applies to my life.

DRINK MORE WATER
So literal hydration has been a goal of mine this year. I used to go days and barely have an 8 oz. glass of water. So I bought myself a 16 oz. water bottle and made it a goal to start drinking at least 4 of those a day (64 oz. of water). At first it just felt like such a task to down a bottle of water. But as silly as it sounds, it got easier and I got better at it. I pee all the time but my skin looks great. I’ve experienced very little swelling and bloating throughout my pregnancy – and I give credit to the water. I probably don’t really need to go into detail as to why water is good for you, but I’ll reiterate here – the H2O is kind of magical.

Moving into 2014 I want to up my daily water intake to a gallon (128 oz.) a day. I think I may need a bigger water bottle. In 2014 I want to continue to be a sponge for experience, adventure, and life as it comes my way. I’ll also be brainstorming a few new words to focus on in the new year that I’ll be sharing later this week.

If you had to pick one word to sum up 2013 what would it be? What are some of your words for 2014? 

P.S. The first email for my DIY Coaching for Creatives Email Series goes out on January 1 (but you can still sign up any time after the new year too). 4 weeks / 16 emails / $40: Learn more and sign up here!